After my wife died, I had a very difficult time accepting that our life together was over. My outward façade was in place, but inwardly, I felt as if a small part of me died as each subsequent day passed. In addition, I tried to intellectualize my grief, which resulted in a type of confusion as to how I thought I should feel, which opposed what my actual feelings were. Days passed into months with no perceptible change, with each day undeviating from the one before. 

One day, I received an email from my parish office concerning a Grief Recovery Program, and I decided to attend. The program was led by Debbie Ceresa. From the initial session, I felt a hope that the curtain of dullness and isolation that enveloped me could possibly be lifted. Debbie never promised clairvoyance in the sense that she “knew how I felt,” but she obviously understood and recognized why the powerful emotions that encompassed me remained firm and unabating. The path to recovery that she gently directed me along included acceptance, honesty, and—probably most importantly—discovery.

An important aspect that I discovered about grief is that it is inherent in our nature. As such, it follows nature’s dynamic that nothing remains static. Therefore, my state of being would tend toward further and continued disorder unless I made an effort to instill order. It was totally up to me. Following the precepts of the Grief Recovery Program enabled me to finally take that first baby step forward.

D. S.

Debbie was a guiding force and friend from the time we met initially through the more than eight weeks of our program. This program changed my life. As hard as it was some weeks and as many times as I wanted to give up, she encouraged me to continue towards a place of healing and peace. I was able to not only heal after the unexpected death of my mother and best friend, but I was able to grieve the loss of my marriage that ended in divorce years ago and the dreams I had for that life. Until this grief recovery workshop, I didn’t realize that, although I had been through counseling, I was still harboring feelings of anger and hurt. 

I can look ahead instead of focusing on the past. Though I will never get over losing my mother, I am now able to focus on the happy and beautiful memories instead of the painful ones. Don’t get me wrong: I still cry and get upset and miss her every single day. But I know that these feelings and occurrences are my normal. I cry less than I used to, and the pain, while a constant within me—is a mere fraction of what it once was. Thank you, Debbie and GRW.

Jennifer

The seminar—expertly facilitated by Debbie—was not only outstanding but also highly beneficial to me coping with the loss of my spouse. Her demeanor, empathy, and understanding were above reproach. Since she had previously lost a spouse, her understanding of what we were going through was directly relevant. I had attended previous grief counseling, but her program was at the apex of excellence and was extremely apropos. She is a superb facilitator, and I was honored to be a recipient of her professionalism and guidance.

E. J. C.